new blog

I don't know why but I decided to start a new blog. New blog, new start? The last 5 months have sent me into a downward spiral of depression and over eating. It started when I found out I had to have an MRI of the brain because of my vision problems. That led me to be anxious and upset for countless months. Add on top of that the fact I can't seem to conceive baby numero dos. Then I find out that I have this benign tumour in my head that is potentially causing all my problems: weight gain, vision problems, depression, anxiety, inability to conceive - Son of a.....

I know - pity party! But I can't help feeling what I feel. But I'm going to a wwers meeting today to get some inspiration or maybe just a good kick in the a$$. I have to stop this now or I'll really regret it later.

So if I'm not posting here, check out my new blog: magoolite.blogspot.com

update: on my brain

Long time no post. I know! But I may have some answers to my weight problems and other medical issues I was having.

Last summer, my optometrist discovered I had optic nerve damage and sent me to a specialist who I didn't see until January. He couldn't tell why I had the damage so he sent me for an MRI which I had last week. On Monday, I went in to see the specialist again and he said that my optic nerve damage was something I was born with or happened at birth. Phew.... Relief. But not quite. The MRI found a benign tumor on my pituitary gland (it's called a macroadenoma). This tumor can cause all kinds of havoc on your hormones as that's what the pituitary controls. This might explain weight gain, hair loss, fatigue, nausea, problems conceiving baby #2 and other things I had brushed off as "post pregnancy" issues.

I'm going to see my GP today who will refer me to an neuro-endocrinologist who specializes in diagnosing the type of tumor and how to treat it. Treatment includes surgery (through the nose - ick!), radiation or medication.

As scary as it is to think I have a "tumor", it's a relief to know that I have some validation for some of these medical issues I had been talking to my GP about. Also, interestingly enough, 1 out of 5 people have pituitary tumors and don't know it. 10% of bodies that are autopsied after death, have pituitary tumors and people didn't realize they were there. Crazy eh?

So that's where I'm at. I'm hoping the treatment will help me in lots of areas of my life, including my weight loss issues. We'll see....

New Shoes

I got some new shoes to make running more comfortable, and I'm doing one more "week one" run in the couch to 5k program then I'll move on to week two.

On Tuesday morning I woke up at 5am to run before work. I put my brand, spanking new "New Balance" runners on in the dark, got my ipod and was on my way. As I was running, I couldn't understand why my ankles didn't feel supported and why I was feeling a little uncomfortable in the knees. I thought to myself "I need some new orthotics. These are obviously losing their shape or something." But I pushed through the pain and completed the run. When I got home I took my shoes off and realized that I forgot to put my orthotics into my runners. I was running without even the shoe insert. DUH! So that's probably why my knees and ankles were not so pleased...

Oye....

couch to 5K

I started running again yesterday using the couch to 5K program and the accompanying podcasts on my Ipod. I didn't do the entire first week circuit because my legs were killing me. My shoes are super old and have absolutely no shock absorbency, especially with my orthotics in them. I need to buy some new runners ASAP! The tread is even wearing out on the bottoms.

Despite the pain and the bad shoes, it was a good way to mentally refocus and get back on track. I like adding the physical activity into my life when I have time. It's amazing how much better I feel when it's part of my daily life. I'm going to try to do the couch to 5K every second day and just nice leisurely walks with my family on the other days.

Not so on top of it this week

I must admit, I have been eating whatever I felt like the last few days although most of my choices were healthy. But I haven't been tracking points at all. I was really thinking I might be pregnant so I thought, why track what I'm eating? Well, I got my TOM today so I can't use that as an excuse anymore! Darn.... I really want to be pregnant. Grrr....

So I'll be good today. My weight has actually gone down three pounds surprisingly so things aren't so bad. We'll see what Monday's WI brings.

2.2 lb gain

I was expecting a gain this week. Somewhere around Wednesday I lost my focus, stopped tracking my points and ate with reckless abandon. I think it's PMS - all I wanted to do all weekend was eat. Blech! I feel gross...

I did exercise three days last week which was one of my goals. Plus we went for a few leisure walks last week as the weather is getting somewhat more reasonable. Easter is just a few weeks away and we still have a ridiculous amount of snow on the ground thanks to the blizzard we had last week. Argh! I hate winter!

Today's plan Stan:

B: english muffin, PB, o cal jam, glass of milk: 6 pts

S: blueberry orange bran muffin, 3 pts

L: english muffin, scrambled egg with salsa and cheese, banana, cottage cheese, diet coke: 8 pts

S: fibre one bar, carrots: 2 pts

D: hamburger, side salad with calorie-wise ranch: 9 pts

S: strawberries: 1 pts

Total: 29 pts

AND 2.5 Litres of Water!!!!

Ah Friday. I didn't think you'd ever come

It's Friday, which means I'm working from home. Nicey, nicey.... You have to be pretty creative and focused to work at home with a 2 1/2 year old but I make it work. After the summer I think I'll be going back to full-time. Zoe can handle full-time daycare now.... I think...

I started working out last night and it felt so good. I had a huge burst of energy afterward and slept very well. I'll be keeping up with that if I can.

I've been eating kind of crazy the last few days. My TOM is late so either it's PMS or I'm pregnant. Maybe that's why I've been craving junk all week. Who knows. We will see!

Have a great weekend!